If you look at my Nook or home library, it will be full of three types of books. Books on self-help, parenting, and nursing textbooks. Okay, so Fifty Shades of Grey may be entwined some where in between. 🙂
Some of my favorite books are Drama of the Gifted Child, which was actually mentioned in The Battle Hymm of the Tiger Mom, Real Marriage, and Loving Kindness. I read four or five books at a time. Right now, I’m reading Reviving Ophelia, Raising Cain, Wild, and just finished Battle Hymm of the Tiger Mom.
In my quest to become the best parent I could be, I realized that WHILE reading these books, I stress out. The stress seems to stem from the notion that I feel like I haven’t done anything these books are suggesting I should do. I start thinking “OMG, thee impressionable first five have gone with my daughter!!!! Is she doomed? Will she resent me for the rest of her life??? Will she suffer from depression due to my parenting??? Will puberty be my payback?” That’s when I have to put the book down and try to convince myself that I can’t look back at what I’ve done.
I always tell O (my daughter) “don’t make the same mistakes momma does or just because someone else says something or does something dumb, doesn’t mean you have to.” Unfortunately, I have made duplicate mistakes with her a number of times. Namely when my patience runs thin or my own frustrations get the best of me and in that moment… I can’t control my own emotions or reactions to the situation. I’m praying daily that I practice what I preach and control myself by giving myself a timeout and a chance to breathe.
I don’t think we should coddle our children from emotions though. We are human and like I tell my mom and sister all the time, “the world is not going to cater to my kids like you guys do.” Tough love. It’s hard, but I refuse to raise entitled and spoiled children.
My daughter is a mini replica of my husband and myself. I see how she gets frustrated sometimes and it sends chills up my spine because I feel like I’m staring into a mirror. Those are the moments I pray she hears my voice again saying “O, do better than momma, teach kindly and patiently.”
The postcard photo I posted rings so true for me and most of my girlfriends I’m sure (J. Peddy… I know you feel me). I think we all think we are damaging our kids to a certain degree especially when we read these books and aren’t doing half of the suggested material. What I come to learn is that I can pick and choose what works in MY household and reiterate to myself every second of the day that I am doing the best that I can and reinforcing more than anything else that “I love you, O. I love you Husb. I love you, Will.”
These books are tools and guidance materials, not the bible.
Look at this picture!!! What a sight!!! Ahahahahaha. I know, I’m such a loser. But I can’t help it. Who can deny a cute Snowman, right? My husb sent this to me. He said it reminded him of me. Sweet, unusual gesture from him… hehe. It could possibly be reminding him how crazy I am. 🙂
I love it. It’s official. The holidays are upon us. Yahoo. I know some people do not look forward to the holidays… bad memories maybe? I don’t know. But change that. Make it yours. Don’t let the past weigh you down. Build fun memories for yourself. That’s what I am trying to do for myself. Who knows… maybe because I drown family and myself in it… O will not enjoy it later on… but that’s something for her to decide. But while I’m still in charge… I want my memories with her to be festive, fun, and bright.
Last night, we went “Trick-or-Treating.” (Yep, I write these way in advance!!!). It was fun. Hard to coordinate with 6.5 kids and 10 adults, but it was fun. Hancock Park area goes all out. I wish the streets were blocked off for better safety, but nonetheless, it was fun. No hills makes it even better. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get a nice group photo of everyone, but trust and believe… all the kids looked amazeballs.
My gf daughter had thee best costume on. It was Snow White… and she was dressed perfectly to the tee. Snow White wig and everything. Perfection. I loved it. My other gf, Jenn, made her kids Batman and Robbin costumes. They looked store bought. I swear, some of these moms are crazy crafty. Me… I will let the manufacturers do the work. Haha.
My daughter made a last minute decision to change her costume from Princess Jasmine to being a Pink Power Ranger Samurai (but I stood my ground and said no… because I knew there was no way to find a costume in a day!!! Good job, mom!! Patting myself on the back) to being Strawberry Shortcake. This was the initial costume fitting. Hilarious. She was good about wearing the wig for about a minute. Then started complaining about it being itchy. Thankfully, she wore it during her school parade.
These were the costumes from the morning:
The girls had a costume parade (a walk around the block), then fun crafts and games afterwards. It was fun. Nice and cold too. I helped at the “Decorate a Pumpkin Scone” table. I ate a few… I will admit it. Charmed Scones, you are too yummy. Love Momma Val. She makes the best scones ever.
O’s counterpart C… couldn’t stand to wear the same costume twice (ahahahahaha… jk)… so she changed from a Doctor and became the most perfect little Snow White ever. I wanted O to wear her Princess Jasmine costume so the girls could have a theme… but my stubborn little O said “no.”
That’s C. Isn’t she a doll? I swear, her costume just made my night. The best part… I asked her mom, “dude, how’d you get her to keep on the wig? O refused.”
C’s Momma: “I told her I’d give her $20 bucks!!!” Ruahahahahahahaha. Later while eating on Larchmont… her dad said, “I’ll buy you a puppy if you sit down.” Ahahahahaha, they kill me. The things a parent has to do.
How was your Halloween? Fill me in. Post pictures. I don’t have FB anymore, so you can post it onto my O’s Momma FB page or leave a comment here.