That’s my textbook… what more is there to say. I’m burntout already and I just started my fourth week of classes. Online classes are lonely. I feel like I’m going through this torment all by myself. 😦 I did have a brief group meeting on Wednesday morning, but isn’t weird how everyone else seems like they have a grasp on things and just get it? I feel so lost. I am just looking forward to the finish line… but daily I tell myself… “I just want to quit.” But I won’t. Ugh… 18 more months. I could’ve been pregnant twice over during that same time. Haha.
This picture is what I’d really rather be doing. Being merry. Hanging with the homies. And having a nice cocktail. I want to frolick in the cold… well, in the heat really these days… but still.
To top things off, my freaking fridge is in the ICU on major life support. Well, no, I pulled the plug on her and she is waiting to be buried. So, I have no cold foods, no milk for my kid, and lots of wasted food. But on a lighter note… no cooking for a few days. And thankfully, her ass died during CYBER MONDAY.
I finally was able to donate some clothes, baby stuff, and books to Baby2Baby.org. It felt great. I have a boat load of baby equipment in storage as well that need to be donated. I can’t believe I’m actually giving the baby stuff away, because I’ve held on for so long with the thought of having another kid. But I’m sure that ship has sailed. And in an event a miracle blesses my womb… I will just have to suck it up and buy some more stuff again.
While being sick these past few weeks, I have been trying to gather all the stored up “goods” that I have been blessed to accumulate and save for a “special day.” Well, my special day has come, but I won’t be wearing the clothes or using the goods. I am sending them to the east coast for the Hurricane Sandy relief efforts and to Baby2Baby.org. Also, a great donation site is from my Moms Club of Mid-Wilshire group called “Mother-to-Mother Fund.” This fund was started after the huge Northridge earthquake.
International MOMS Club
1464 Madera Rd. #N-191
Simi Valley, CA 93065This fund will be sent to help those most in need on the east coast. While I do not like soliciting for money, I am definitely not opposed to putting out information so if you choose to bite at it… it’s there for consumption.I give away things all the time. Mostly to my cleaning lady who sends it to family and friends in Mexico. But isn’t it ironic how you hold on to things because of sentimental value? Like, “oh no, I can’t give this sweater I haven’t worn in 15 years, because my sister gave it to me.” Or “I might wear this one day.”So I have to stop myself and say… “Girl, you haven’t worn it and aren’t going to wear it. And if you give it away and regret it… suck it up.” I don’t need the stuff. I know it. But sometimes, sentimental values are so hard to let go of. It’s my own issues with abandonment I think. Like, I’m not a good person if I don’t cherish those things that were given specifically to me. Yeah, I know… I am thinking wayyyyyy to far into this.So cold turkey, I just throw these things into a bag and I don’t look back. At the end of the day, someone else needs it more than I do. And at the end of my life, I’m not taking anything with me but my soul. It’s just stuff I tell myself. Stuff that I can buy at a later date should I really need something. I’m blessed to be in this position of giving and not needing.So people, if you are having the same issues as I am… wanting to give but finding it hard to part with items that have collected dust… baby steps. Do it. Do it knowing someone else will be warm and cozy thanks to you. I just picture myself and O in that predicament … and it becomes a lot easier for me to give.