My Journey Through Postpartum and Life After I Kicked It's A$$!!!

Tag Archives: christmas

So Over It...

I’m burnout… especially because I’d rather be out looking a Christmas decorations with my kid and husb.

That’s my textbook… what more is there to say.  I’m burntout already and I just started my fourth week of classes.  Online classes are lonely.  I feel like I’m going through this torment all by myself. 😦  I did have a brief group meeting on Wednesday morning, but isn’t weird how everyone else seems like they have a grasp on things and just get it?  I feel so lost.  I am just looking forward to the finish line… but daily I tell myself… “I just want to quit.”  But I won’t.  Ugh… 18 more months.  I could’ve been pregnant twice over during that same time.  Haha.

Relishing the Moments

I’d rather be living inside this Gingerbread house at the present moment…

This picture is what I’d really rather be doing.  Being merry.  Hanging with the homies.  And having a nice cocktail.  I want to frolick in the cold… well, in the heat really these days… but still.

To top things off, my freaking fridge is in the ICU on major life support.  Well, no, I pulled the plug on her and she is waiting to be buried.  So, I have no cold foods, no milk for my kid, and lots of wasted food.  But on a lighter note… no cooking for a few days.  And thankfully, her ass died during CYBER MONDAY.

I finally was able to donate some clothes, baby stuff, and books to Baby2Baby.org.  It felt great.  I have a boat load of baby equipment in storage as well that need to be donated.  I can’t believe I’m actually giving the baby stuff away, because I’ve held on for so long with the thought of having another kid.  But I’m sure that ship has sailed.  And in an event a miracle blesses my womb… I will just have to suck it up and buy some more stuff again.

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Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch Field Trip

It has been a tumultuous few weeks… maybe even months.  But watching my daughter have fun is the highlight in the reel of film that has been glum and sad to say the least.  This was taken during O’s first field trip for this year.  I hated the hay… and we all suffered afterwards… but being able to spend time with her an her friends was exactly what I needed.  My sister was in pure hell.  It was comedy watching the both of us hold tissues up to our runny noses.  She even hid in the car for a bit.

Perfect for the NON-CRAFTY people!!!

This was O’s and my attempt at a pumpkin.  My girlfriend, Jo, got one for her daughter while we were at the pumpkin patch and posted hers on Instagram and I thought… “omg, perfect for the mom/dad/adult who aren’t very crafty.”  Jo’s turned out way better.  Her daughter even had a mini version.  Super cute idea.

Such a great Hello Kitty Pumpkin… courtesy of my gf Crissy.

My gf texted this picture to me because she knows my obsession with Hello Kitty.  It’s the little things and gestures from your friends that remind you people think about you and care about you.  Simple pleasures.

Holiday Arts & Craft with O for the mommy/adult that does not know how to be crafty!!! Michael’s, you rock. This is on my sister’s door.

O and I made this one morning at my sister’s house.  We made it as a surprise for my family.  It’s just stickers, but looks good right?  And I didn’t have to kill a pine tree or whatever wreaths are made of.  I love spending time at my mom’s.  I don’t want to come back to my reality sometimes after being there for prolonged periods.  But I guess running away from your pain and emotions will at some point always come looking for you to fix.  I feel good these days though.  I feel like I am owning my womanhood, learning that I actually have a thing called “boundaries,” and being able to stand up for what I want and need in my life.

It’s beginning to Look a lot like Christmas… but the weather certainly doesn’t feel like it.

I love the holidays.  And I want my daughter to look forward to building great memories for herself as well.  My cousin will be put to rest today (Friday)… I still haven’t worked out why I have no tears.  I think subconsciously her death is a reminder for me that my sister is a survivor.  This is my first real experience with someone succumbing to the disease and it is a bit terrifying so I keep the reality of it at a distance.  Like I’ve said before, my sister survived.  My dad survived.  She was supposed to survive.  So her death conjures a great deal of fear in me because I know it could’ve been my sister.  It’s truly frightening.  I just hope her family can heal and be in a better place than they are now, because I am positive she is in a better place, free from pain.

Her death has made me really want to enjoy my life.  The way I want it.  So, I thank her immensely for touching my life in the way you have and helping me become stronger for myself.



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My Journey Through Postpartum and Life After I Kicked It's A$$!!!

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My Journey Through Postpartum and Life After I Kicked It's A$$!!!

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My Journey Through Postpartum and Life After I Kicked It's A$$!!!

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Future leaders of the world! - Celeste

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