My Journey Through Postpartum and Life After I Kicked It's A$$!!!

Tag Archives: child

What not to do with your child…

That picture is some of the random things I do with O that maybe aren’t the smartest things… but still memorable nonetheless.  Don’t get your panties all bunched up.  We were in our gated community in a cul-de-sac and driving like 5 mph.  But if were a picture of my husband and her doing this… I would’ve said, “OMG, you are setting such a bad example to her.”  Ahahahahahahaha.  Hypocrite.  I know.

But YOLO right?  Life is too short to take things so seriously and have everything equate to a catastrophic event.  I’m in my late 30s now and all I want to do is live.  Live each day feeling like I did something fulfilling.  Inching towards putting more and more check marks on my extensive bucket list of things to still do, see, accomplish, and experience.

I think at this age, Erik Erickson says we are in the Generativity vs. Stagnation part of our lives. “Generativity vs. stagnation is the second stage of adulthood and happens between the ages of 25-64. During this time people are normally settled in their life and know what is important to them. A person is either making progress in their career or treading lightly in their career and unsure if this is what they want to do for the rest of their working lives. Also during this time, a person is enjoying raising their children and participating in activities, that gives them a sense of purpose. If a person is not comfortable with the way their life is progressing, they’re usually regretful about the decisions and feel a sense of uselessness.”

I am soooooooo in this stage.  My nursing and those into psychology and sociology should be very familiar with this.  But yes, I’m at a stage where I am definitely less fearful of doing new things, especially on my own, in order to fulfill voids in me that weren’t being attended to.  It’s been great.  I’m starting to let go of all the things I was holding on to just in case… just in case I get pregnant, just in case I move, just in case …just in case.  But you can’t live like that.

I have a friend who started taking acting classes recently and I truly think it is so awesome.  He is fulfilling his dreams.  That was once a dream of mine as well… yep, I wanted to become a famous actress or some sort of television personality.  I have always hidden that want in fear of ridicule and judgment but now… I don’t care.  Hahahaha.

Setting up healthy boundaries has been instrumental for me.  I never wanted to say no to people because I feared they would feel hurt and rejected by me.  Because I know those feelings are so isolating, profound, and intoxicatingly painful.  But now, I can say no and tell myself “it’s ok.”  It’s strange because a huge change has occurred and shifted my thinking.  And this gives me a sense of freedom which in turn gives me a feeling of peace.  That I’m not in a battle with the world anymore.  And that the world is no longer out to get me.

I see the changes in my relationship with O even.  I’m less impatient, far less hostile, and definitely way way way more loving.  It has been a prayer answered from the Almighty.  And what I feel more thankful than anything for this year, is that I feel like my parents are starting to open themselves up more to the Christian faith and I think it’s thanks to O.

She’s rocking the Stunner Shades.

Have a great day everyone.  It’s getting more and more challenging to post things daily, because I’m back getting my Master’s.  So with papers, reading requirements and assignments, oh and a little thing called life with a small child… I don’t have that much free time anymore.  So, I’m going to have to see a ton of more support and encouragement from you guys and your friends to feel the love to continue writing 😛 !!!

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I have been sick for over a week. This has not been fun.  I think I made myself sicker by freezing my ass off at Legoland. But like I said before, it was so worth it.  This week has been full of cancellations.  Lunches, sessions, Dr appointments, etc.  I hate canceling.  It makes me feel like a flake.  But really, I can’t stop my nose from dripping (or bleeding) or coughing like a barking seal.

I learned a bit about myself this weekend. That I’m still such a kid at heart.  I am a chicken when it comes to anything scary.  I have a wild imagination so I don’t need to add to it by watching scary movies or going on crazy rollercoasters.  But this weekend, I went out of my shell as I have been allowing and making myself do… and venturing to do new things with my husband and daughter.  I don’t want to be the “no I don’t do that mom.”  When I went on some of the rides with O, I saw pure exhilaration on her face like, “dude, my mom rocks.”  I can’t say I was a fan of my insides flipping upside down… but I sure was a fan of her squealing, smiley face.  That little girl is so brave.  She surprises me.  For sure… for sure… for sure… I thought she would be screaming (in anger) and crying telling us to get her off… but nope… she wanted to ride the rollercoaster over and over again.

Going to Legoland was cool too.  Why? Because now we have a little edge against O on the “BATTLE OF THE EATING.”  She couldn’t ride most of the rides on our trip to Legoland prior, but this time she was above the 36in mark so was able to ride some of the more exciting rides.  We had to walk out of the ride that she needed to be 40in.  So that gave us the edge.  Ahahahahaha.  We said, “see O, you gotta eat your food and veggies so you can get taller to ride these even more crazy rides.” Yahoooooo!!!!

I’m growing.  Every day.  I love watching her craziness.  Oh yeah… yesterday I got my first, “I JUST HATE YOU.” It was surreal.  Comical. But I had to lay down the law and put her on her “thinking chair.”  She hates the thinking chair.  So I asked, why I deserved that comment.  She said, because I turned off the TV without her permission.  Oops.

But later at night when it was just the two of us in bed, she stroked my face, hugged me, and gave me a kiss on the forehead and said, “Momma, I will never ever say hate again.  I love you.  Sweet dreams.” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Emotional rollercoaster.  I love that girl.

 



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Future leaders of the world! - Celeste

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