So the Part Deux comes from the fact that I was able to contain my composure after being told my paper topic, which was approved by the professor, was not actually part of the assignment. WTF!!! Right? Normally, I would have been irate. I was weeks into my research and four pages into my writing. That doesn’t sound like much but when you are writing about NURSING THEORIES… it seems like a crap load. But I owned my mistake and realized I had not read the directions carefully and was so grateful that the instructor herself was kind enough to acknowledge her role in the confusion as well. My assignment got more complicated but still I was able to use some of my writings. Whew. Look who’s growing up? ME!
We got a new fridge and she’s a beauty. Clean lines. Shiny. Silver. Fresh. Unbroken. It was funny because I posted a picture on Instagram and all my lady friends were so excited. I had to check again to make sure I hadn’t accidentally posted a picture of my dashing Husband. We, women, find the strangest things cool. I love that about my peeps. My sister was the most excited. It was as if I birthed a new child. She wanted to know measurements, fit, my feelings, and pictures. ahahahahahahahaha. Crazy lady.
I love this weather. It’s so gloomy, rainy, and comfy feeling. Even if I were out in the rain, it feels refreshing. It makes me feel awake and alive.
I’m running again on Sunday morning. It’s for the Just Say No To Drugs. I’m definitely not ready. I was sick for three weeks, so I wasn’t able to train. I really wanted to see if I could improve my time. It’s about me challenging myself. I don’t want to quit because it’s too hard, too tiring, or too painful. I know my mind is stronger now and I really want to see the connection between my mind & body. Thankfully, I have my inhaler this time.
I’m hoping one day soon, my sister also starts learning that her body needs to start connecting with what her mind is telling her. That she is not pardoned from illness which should be blatantly obvious because she is a cancer survivor and still fighting the battle against that bitch. (Yes, I said BITCH)!!! I remind her of all the times she’s said “When. When I get out of the hospital. When I start to heal. When I lose weight. When I have more time.” All those things have happened and yet that Change vs. Growth doesn’t seem to manifest. (Yep Hyung… I’m writing this directly to you). Your when is now. Look around because everyone’s life is moving forward. Maybe it’s time yours started to too. You’re smart. Kind. And beautiful. Embrace it.
I strive to do charitable work throughout my life. I feel like it’s important to give back to the community and to others. Cancer is an immensely important cause for me and finding a cure is of the utmost importance, especially after watching Karen suffer so much from the disease and lose her life to it. But the best part of running for a cause is also to be able to get my family and friends involved as well. My best friend has supported me for the past four years and has run with me at least once a year. My sister, very reluctantly, joined in this year and I think she actually had a good time. I won’t disclose her time though. Ahahahahaha.
I didn’t train at all so I suffered. I thought, “hey, I’ve been doing some cardio at home on my elliptical and did a whole 10 minute run on the treadmill at the gym.” Oh man. I know all too well that pavement running and treadmill running are two entirely different beasts. But the cocky in me didn’t care. Ahahahahaha. My time wasn’t the best, but I did it. And that is all that matters. I made a small difference in the fight against cancer.
My husband even came out to support me. This was a nice change because he never came out before to witness and be a part of such great energy. He used to say it was too early. I have to say it meant a lot. And at the times, I wanted to walk… I thought, “no way… I’m not going to have him see me come in dead last.” Ahahahahahaha. There were grandma’s and grandpa’s passing me by. But I really wanted to embrace the run. I thought of Karen a lot during my solo run. And I reminded myself, “I’m not in competition with anyone but myself.”
The best part was getting O involved. I had waited three years for this day. I wanted her to have a love of running and being active. I also wanted her to realize that mommy runs to support people who are sick and to help people who are less fortunate than we are. It’s important for me to instill in her the love of philanthropy and having her feel empowered to make a change in this world. I didn’t feel I had that growing up. I didn’t think I could make a difference or that I did make a difference. Early on, I want O to know that she makes a difference in the lives of others daily.
O wasn’t in the best of moods going to the run. She was cranky, whining, and just not pleasant. But once I was done with my race, it was time for hers. She refused. But with some encouragement, we set off holding hands. It was a super short run for the kids (1K)… but she had so much fun, she wanted to join the bigger kids again. And even when that was over, she wanted to run again. Ahahahahahaha. So on the final run, she and her daddy ran, because I was about to keel over from the heat (90 degrees… in OCTOBER!!!) and the dust. Ugh, the dust is still coming out of my nostrils as I write this. But it was all so worth it. Even the asthma attack!!!
My next run is on 12/2 for Just Say No To Drugs. It’s actually to have my husband participate, get out of his sedentary lifestyle, and also start doing things that are important to O and me. And yes, I’m forcing my sister to do it too. Haha. I’m seeing my Pulmonologist this week… so hopefully, I will be better prepared next month!!!