It has been a tumultuous few weeks… maybe even months. But watching my daughter have fun is the highlight in the reel of film that has been glum and sad to say the least. This was taken during O’s first field trip for this year. I hated the hay… and we all suffered afterwards… but being able to spend time with her an her friends was exactly what I needed. My sister was in pure hell. It was comedy watching the both of us hold tissues up to our runny noses. She even hid in the car for a bit.
This was O’s and my attempt at a pumpkin. My girlfriend, Jo, got one for her daughter while we were at the pumpkin patch and posted hers on Instagram and I thought… “omg, perfect for the mom/dad/adult who aren’t very crafty.” Jo’s turned out way better. Her daughter even had a mini version. Super cute idea.
My gf texted this picture to me because she knows my obsession with Hello Kitty. It’s the little things and gestures from your friends that remind you people think about you and care about you. Simple pleasures.
O and I made this one morning at my sister’s house. We made it as a surprise for my family. It’s just stickers, but looks good right? And I didn’t have to kill a pine tree or whatever wreaths are made of. I love spending time at my mom’s. I don’t want to come back to my reality sometimes after being there for prolonged periods. But I guess running away from your pain and emotions will at some point always come looking for you to fix. I feel good these days though. I feel like I am owning my womanhood, learning that I actually have a thing called “boundaries,” and being able to stand up for what I want and need in my life.
I love the holidays. And I want my daughter to look forward to building great memories for herself as well. My cousin will be put to rest today (Friday)… I still haven’t worked out why I have no tears. I think subconsciously her death is a reminder for me that my sister is a survivor. This is my first real experience with someone succumbing to the disease and it is a bit terrifying so I keep the reality of it at a distance. Like I’ve said before, my sister survived. My dad survived. She was supposed to survive. So her death conjures a great deal of fear in me because I know it could’ve been my sister. It’s truly frightening. I just hope her family can heal and be in a better place than they are now, because I am positive she is in a better place, free from pain.
Her death has made me really want to enjoy my life. The way I want it. So, I thank her immensely for touching my life in the way you have and helping me become stronger for myself.