I feel like my life is stuck in the “Pending” file. No closure to anything. Just a lot of unanswered mail. A constant… when this or that happens. We haven’t moved in the six years of marriage when at first it seemed imminent. Even with a kid and cramped living spaces… we seem to be stuck here. We haven’t done anything new in quite some time. Just a lot of planning with no real outcome. Pending… baby. Pending… home. Pending… everything. Or it seems. I hate that.
I’m a doer. I get sh!t done. My husband is a planner. He draws things out to the knitty gritty. I guess it’s good and bad. I’m learning a great deal of patience through this but some times… someone has got to pull the trigger. I think this is where a bit of our clashings take place because I need results… and he does too… but his just takes a great deal longer.
It’s funny though… I realize as a stay-at-home mom… I learned it is not easy to adjust to not having a great deal of financial freedom. It’s weird because I use to make my own money… nothing to brag about… but a decent earning. And so to have to sit idle on things that require financial backing has been hard, humbling, and really frustrating. Today was one of those days I felt it a lot.
I’m stuck I feel in a rock and a hard place, because I don’t know if I’m so far gone into the business to turn back around… or it’s a good time to just throw in the towel. Is it time to tap out?