Gosh… I miss her this size!!!

I have baby fever right now.  I miss the infant stage.  I am thoroughly enjoying O as a mobile, speaking, sassy human being.  But I definitely miss the baby smell.  I miss the succulent smoosh-i-ness that a chubby six month old baby possesses.  I miss it all.  The rigors of nighttime feedings… all of it.

At the same time, I’m not losing sleep over it.  I have a timeline.  If it doesn’t happen, I’m ready to move on.  I’m also anxious to do something new and exciting.  Like in my gut, I feel like I’m just on the “verge.”  On the verge of what, I don’t know… but I feel like something great is about to happen.  At least that’s what I am hoping.  I’m anxious.

I’m just searching for things to do in the meantime to pass the time.  I hate feeling idle.  Twirling my thumbs.  Not being a productive human being… is killing me.

I’ve been stressed, to say the least, because of O’s school situation… yes, still.  But I’m sure there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.  I just feel like I want to give her every arsenal and ammunition I can as a parent for her future success.  What she does with where she is at is solely up to her… but if I can give her the best… that’s what I want to do.  At the end of the day, I know she will be fine and that ultimately the most important role I can play in her life is that of a cheerleader and supporter.  Yet, I still want her to receive the best education with great teachers who truly care about their students.  Maybe I’m projecting my childhood angst onto her, because I didn’t have teachers that encouraged me starting as early as first grade.  My kindergarten teacher was amazing.  I remember that.  She made me love school.  Ms. Merchanson.  I think that’s how she spelled her last name.  But I loved her.  Thereafter, most teachers always told me I talked too much or I was trouble :(.  It was very discouraging.  I know sending her to an expensive school or what not isn’t going to stop that… but at the least, I do want her to receive a good quality education and RESPECT.  Yes, I firmly believe children should be respected by adults.

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