O has been sick for a few days now with intermittent, high fevers. She’s going to see Dr. Cohen today. She’s really a trooper. She’s been whiney but she still tries to suck it in. Scares me sometimes, because I can’t tell how much she’s hurting.
I’ve been irritable with her because before her symptoms manifested, she wasn’t eating and was weepy on occasion throughout the day yesterday… but was still able to play and have a good time when we were out. So, I couldn’t tell if she was really that sick. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I thought she was juicing the situation because Grandma, Grandpa, and Elmo were around at her beck-and-call.
I knew she wasn’t feeling well, but I had “stuff” going on as well that I needed to sort out. So, I wasn’t in the most patient of moods compounded with the fact I was having cystic pain again. (Must’ve popped yesterday, because had a bit of bleeding and then no pain today. Yes, TMI… but that’s what I live with). And to top off, I have to constantly battle with my mom about how to discipline O MY WAY!!!
My mom (and even my MIL) has the best of intentions when it comes to O. But she’s never been the type to know how to put her foot down when it came to her own kids… and obviously, not with her angelic, can-never-do-wrong granddaughter. She doesn’t understand the concept of her “no’s meaning NO!!!” She’ll tell O, “I’m not going to do this for you, if you don’t do this.” And the next minute, she’s doing exactly what she told O she WOULDN’T DO after O did EXACTLY what she WASN’T SUPPOSE TO DO. I think it sends a really bad and confusing message to her. I tell her not to do that, but she’s a grandma… and they love to leave you to deal with the confusing crap they instill in your kid which is… “Let O act like an A$$HOLE all day while she is with me, then send her home so MOMMY & DADDY could discipline her, because I don’t want to be the bad guy.” Or, “Oh, she’s just a little kid. What does she know?”
She’s right. What does a 3 1/2 year old know right now? Nothing EXCEPT what we are instilling in her. Whether it be about learning how to eat or do things by herself, learning how to self-soothe herself after a boo-boo or getting in trouble… they are teaching her that SOMEONE ELSE IS ALWAYS GOING TO FIX IT AND MAKE IT BETTER. That’s not life. That’s not how I want her to think… that the world revolves around her. I did… and I paid the piper learning how to stand on my own.
To be at her every whim is not plausible… not now and definitely not when she has to become a thriving human being on her own. I don’t want her to live in a make-believe world that life is a box of chocolates and bouquet of roses all the time. Or that the world is going to jump hurdles for her to get her her juice box EXACTLY when she’s asking for it!!!
I know that Grandmas and Elmo mean well. And I’m immensely grateful to have them be an important and integral part of O’s life. But at the end of the day, I need to show her that she is self-sufficient enough to do things on her own. To discover her strengths. To change her “I can not’s … into I Can’s!!!”
(I wanted a good image while I was writing this yesterday… and this morning, my girlfriend had this on her Instagram. So, I searched for it because it was absolutely perfect for this blog entry).