We came from two separate wombs but we might as well have been born one. When our souls collided on the first day we met, we knew it was something very special. Fated. Unique. Beyond friendship. Beyond words.
S has been a person I’ve mentioned since starting my blogging journey. She’s the one who saved me from myself when O was 3-4 months old. She’s the only other person, aside from my husband & O, who made me realize my need to change & grow as a human being. This relationship was the only other outside my immediate & extended family that was worth the work for. Truly. Undoubtably. She’s the only other person that filled a void in me like no other person who was not of my blood.
We were two peas in a pod. We met. We became insta-friends, later best friends, roommates, and still with all that love each other’s worst enemy. We had what felt like a marriage. A deep rooted friendship, but we were immature and needed to grow as individuals in order to be able to fulfill our own needs and be able to become the friends we so eagerly wanted to be for the other person. At least that was the case for me.
Our friendship was like a marriage. It really was. This is why I believe divorce is not finite ever. Especially between two people whose souls are so deeply entwined in a way that is not easily cut off. This is why I believe time heals all wounds. I guess a disclaimer is necessary, in that, both parties have to be willing to make a concerted effort towards change and actually want to make things work.
The best thing S ever did for me was cut me off from her life after college. It was brutal. It was humbling. I missed her. I longed for her. I longed for a new friend to fill that role that only she could. I have made great friendships throughout the years… and yes, my BFF, Julie, is the most amazing human being ever. But she was never intended to fill that void because no one could.
We missed each other’s major adult milestones in a period of ten years. Yet, she still came over briefly, after O’s birth, to tell me I would be okay and things would eventually get better. Then, another three years of separation until just the other night. But when we saw each other, this time, it was better. More honest. And it just felt beautiful. Over the course of our 4 plus hours of dinner and drinks… we talked about everything. Like old times.
I think, though, because I wanted to be gentle with this relationship… I didn’t want to suffocate her like I use to when we were kids. Because honestly, all I wanted to do was engulf her to show her how happy I was to be reunited… but I refrained as I didn’t want her to think I was a lunatic or scare her off.
People reading this who knew us from before probably thought I was the dictator of our relationship but really I wasn’t. We were like Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey in the movie, “Beaches.” I was the loud, obnoxious one. But really, she was the one with all the strength, courage, and tenacity to deal with a person like me.
Our story was like “Bride Wars.” So much love but sometimes people just need a break to learn how important certain people are to us. Soulmates will always find their ways back to one another. Trust and believe. (JO, I’m talking to you too… 😉 ).