Yep, I Instagrammed this picture. I’m a freak.
I’ve been having an ongoing battle with these pesky little f@ckers!!! And they were winning. Stealing a tiny bit of sanity away from me. Flying past me, teasing me… taunting me. Like… “hahaha, you slow a$$ mortal!!!!”
All my friends and family know “CHRIS HATES LATE. BUT CHRIS HATES FLIES MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!!” Hehe. I nearly go into convulsions when I see flies in my house or anybody else’s house for that matter. I will scream bloody murder. It will shock the hell out of you. My friend, Yimmy, will attest to that. Ahahahahahahaha. Comedy. I once called my sister and mom who were playing in Vegas because I was home alone and fly after fly came out of nowhere (ok, so like 5… but what the hell were they doing in my clean house and why?).
My sister was unamused. “What would you like us to do? Go home?” Sassy ass. Me: “ugh, yes.” Hahahahaha. Luckily, my boyfriend at the time, George, came to the rescue. I would’ve died from anxiety related psychosis. No joke.
Flies are dirty, dirty creatures. Nothing magical about them. What? Maggots for medicinal purposes? NO! NO! NO! People, we have wound vacs for such needs. Flies eat feces, then eat your food. Their little pint sized hands rubbing together… you know what they are saying? They are saying… “ahahahahahahaah suckers, who’s the boss!!!”
But now, next to the electric fly swatter… I have the APPLE CIDER VINEGAR WITH TWO DROPS OF DISH SOAP solution!!!! That’s the massacre on the left. Hehehehehe. Victory is mine. (Of course, don’t forget to cover your cup/bowl with saran wrap and poke holes!!!!). I still have a few flying around, but I feel a great deal of satisfaction knowing I have one more arsenal in my bag of goodies against these little suckers.