Back around 2004-2005 I clipped an interview from Courtney Cox out of a Glamour magazine because I thought what she said really hit a chord with me. I kept the clippings and found it today as I was cleaning.
Here’s how it went: She speaks about the death of her father I think… and states “After he died, I became fearless about a lot of things. You know, I try not to dwell on the small stuff.”
So then the interview goes as follows:
Glamour: Like what? Can you give us an example?
CC: I used to worry about what people thought of me. I’d think, Oh did I hurt their feelings? Or, Did that come off the right way? But then, I realized that the people who really know me also know where I’m coming from, so I shouldn’t have to obsess about everything I say or do. And you know, it’s OK for people not to like me, and it took me a long time to realize that.
Glamour: So you used to second-guess yourself?
CC: Well, I used to try so hard to get approval, to please everyone, like “Like me, like me!” But you know, it turns out I didn’t like the people I was trying so hard to impress that much anyway. I was drawn to people who were aloof or inconsistent, the type of person who might be extremely nice one day and then not seem to care the next. But with my closest friends, you never have to second-guess–you know where you stand with them, and they know where they stand with you. That’s what I like in a person.
Anyways, in a nutshell, that’s how I was and felt around people when I was younger… maybe even to my late 20s for sure. But in my 30s after filtering out the people who really were inconsistent, my pool of loved ones became stronger. I realize it’s not the quantity of friends or the longevity of a friendship that builds quality.
My friend, JS, came over today… and this is exactly the type of topics we spoke on. That in life, just as you clean out your drawers and closest, you have to do inventory checks on the people in your life so you can grow.
I feel it’s also important for people to have a variety of friendships. I think being relatable to people is the key to a healthy personality. Just because someone is 16, 26, 36, or 86 years old doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or you have to act in some particular way or be a role model. I get the best feeling knowing that people like me just the way I am. I hate pretense and facades… it’s an energy killer and a waste of my time.
Hope everyone is having a great week.