Sunday is run day for me.  I started running again.  The weather is so amazing these days that I just want to enjoy every last bit of it before it gets scorching hot.  Running has always made me feel accomplished.  Is that weird?  I mean, I’m not great at it, but it makes me feel like I did something not all people can do.  I used to run like 17 miles but my knees and ankles just wouldn’t permit as I got older.  Even running my last 10K post-baby and post-surgery was arduous to say the least.  I only ran about 3 miles, but I felt like I could do it again even with the tendonitis in the foot.  I’m sore.  But it feels so good.  The best part of working out again is that I see the affects on my Husband.  Because he sees me working out, he started working out at home on the elliptical.  I love the elliptical but I need to be out.  Running really helps me clear my head and I thoroughly enjoy being in nature as opposed to just indoors.

I’m far from where I want to be physically, but I appreciate that I finally am taking the initiative to do something to get closer to where I want to be.  I don’t want to be the girl sitting in front of the TV reading Shape magazine thinking, “I want that body, but how?”  I know how.  I know my body.  I know what I need to do.  It just has been so hard to get that motivation to get my ass out of the house to do it.  Trying to juggle a baby, household chores, life, and my sanity were all excuses.  Now, I even try to find intermittent spurts while at home.  If O is occupied with drawing or playing, I just jump on the elliptical for even two minutes, because hey… it’s still two minutes of activity.

Most importantly, I want to be a role model to my daughter.  I want her to understand that staying physically fit is just as important as studying hard.  I want her to get an early understanding that “health is wealth.”  Those things were not very important in my household.  It’s ironic that I was so into sports on my own, because exercise was not enforced in my household mainly because I was a pretty sickly and scrawny kid growing up.  Koreans tend to equate skinny with healthy, but my trainer bluntly always used to tell me, “Chris, you’re a skinny fat.”  Love it.  Reality bites.  I’ve lost 40 lbs on my own after gaining tons of weight in my mid-twenties, lost 60 lbs after O’s birth, and now I’m on my way to lose the last 8 or so pounds that stuck around after stopping breastfeeding.  Nothing dramatic.  I can’t do that because I love food.  But I’m just trying to incorporate making conscious decisions to better my health by exercising moderation.  So people, please don’t give me anymore cupcakes.  Those are like cryptonite to me.

I realized too that surrounding yourself with people who motivate you are keys to your weight-loss and life success.  If you surround yourself with gluttony and slouth, you start absorbing that behavior into your pores.  Then, you start thinking, “Well, that person is eating whatever and being lazy and not gaining weight… what’s a little extra piece of pizza.”  Well, 800 kcals.  AHAHAHA.  I’m inspired by real people who do real things, with real budgets, with real hardships.  It’s hard not to look to celebrities for inspiration (and I do… I try to find people that lost weight whose bodies most resembles mine for motivation)… but it’s not realistic and I feel you set yourself up for failure because you don’t have a chef, you don’t have a trainer and mostly, you just don’t have all day to workout like they are doing FOR THEIR JOBS.  I come to accept that it’s not my job to look like a TEN for aesthetic purposes.  My purpose it to stay alive and healthy long enough to be my daughter’s best friend for as long as possible.  My sister in-law inspires me to incorporate healthy eating and exercise.  Health has just become expontentially more important to me, because it has become blatantly clear that cancer runs in my family.  So I want my daughter to never have to worry the way we did about this disease.

My sister always got the short end of the stick.  Because she was a bit more plump than I was.  It was unfair looking back because it was like a double-edged sword for her.  Growing up, parents and family made life confusing by praising kids for being good eaters.  But when these good eaters started getting fat, they ridiculed them.  How fair was that?  Such unnecessary confusion for a child.  So, in my household, I don’t praise O for eating.  Although deep inside, I’m super elated and smiling from ear to ear.  LOL.  And recently, I gave up trying to force food in her mouth and stopped worrying that she didn’t want to eat.  Funny now, because she’s been saying “more bagel or more bap (rice) lately.”

Through my sister’s suggestion, I started reading Maria Menounos book, “Every Girls Guide to Life.”  It teaches you how to organize your life.  So I started organizing one drawer at a time.  I can’t believe all the crap I had in those drawers.  People just shove things every where.  I have two moms, sisters, husband, nannies, and a cleaning lady that all try to help by putting things in random places.  Every time my husband would ask for something, it was like a daily scavenger hunt game that was proving to be tedious and time consuming.  So, I am using the entire month of June to start becoming the CEO of my household.  I have to say though, reading the book gave me anxiety (and mind you, I’m not even done with the book… not even close.  I’m just reading parts I feel directly applies to my life)… because I’m like “OMG, there’s too much to do and it’s overwhelming.  But going at it, one drawer at a time makes it seem less insurmountable.

I always hated it when you noticed someone lose weight and you ask for advice and they are all secretive about it.  (Really probably shouldn’t even be friends with toxic people like that…. ahahahah).  Not wanting to share the wealth as if you are going to steal something from their soul.  Those types of people just want to use you as a stepping stone to help themselves feel better than you.  Just like you have to organize your life and clean out your closets and drawers, once in awhile, you have to do inventory on the people in your life as well.  Having lots of friends really doesn’t amount to anything beneficial if they are not of good quality.  So, I wanted to share and hopefully inspire my friends to do something positive and active with their lives.  And since, most of us have kids now, I think it’s crucial for us to help stop childhood obesity and diseases from affecting our own children.

Good luck everyone.  And please continue to pray for my dad and family.

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