I’m back from Hawaii.  I thought once the chaos of all the weddings and celebrations were over with; life would resume at a normal pace once again.  But nope.  My dad is going to start radiation and chemotherapy for the next six weeks.  So most of you know, my dad was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma last year.  We thought everything was going well but now it’s back and so this time they will be doing radiation and chemotherapy.  I shutter at the thought of the discomfort my dad will have to endure during the chemotherapy treatments.  More so than that, I worry about my mom who has endured way too much in one’s lifetime.  I wonder whether or not I will be patient and supportive enough or if my own fears will surface as irritation and anger.  Those are my M.O’s for dealing with difficult situations.  Situations I cannot control.  I’m working on it, but it is still a difficult task for me to overcome.

Hawaii feels like a dream.  I went … I’m sure of it.  But the week flew by so fast that I feel like I just dreamt the trip.  I had a great time catching up with friends, watching O play with both grandmother’s in the ocean, and being able to see Casey and Belinda get married.  The most memorable moment for me was truly just watching O frolicking in the water.  She was a little fish.  I think she would have slept in the pool or ocean if she knew how to float.  For whatever reason, her image in the ocean in her little daisy duke shorts brings a bit of peace to me.

I’m still tired from the trip.  I dislike all the cleaning that comes after going on vacation!!!

Anyways, I’m going to rest and enjoy the rest of the day.  I was in super uptight mode all day for whatever reason, so it’s now time to meditate and decompress from the day a bit and try to understand where these feelings are coming from.  (PMS seems to be the more than likely culprit).

Advertisements