So I feel like I’m finally alive again.  I have researched countless articles and books on postpartum and found relief in knowing that I was not crazy.  (Well, maybe a little bit).  I can not even begin to explain what life was like for the past year and a half.  Fortunately for me, I was able to overcome this battle with postpartum but for most… it goes unresolved and it breaks my heart knowing that women all over the world are suffering through this debilitating “ILLNESS!!!” alone, scared, and confused.

Even being in the health field did not prepare me for the hormonal madness that was to ensue.  I should have known from day one that I was in trouble when all I felt was “blank.”  Numb.  I think I should have won the Oscars for year 2009 and 2010.  Seriously.

I am now going to try to start a support group through my church and mommy groups.  I feel like that was God’s ultimate intentions for my suffering.

Life is still hard at various moments… and the sleep deprivation is a real soul and sanity stealer, but a simple hug from my daughter makes it all worthwhile.

I’m truly and immensely grateful to God, my Husband, my daughter, sister, mom, and a handful of great girlfriends who helped me get through this.  For all the lucky women who did not and have not… you are blessed.

I decided this year I would focus on the positive things in my life and begin blogging about the things that made my life a bit easier.  Simple things, you know, like a good mascara.  The indispensible Ergo baby carrier.  The medela pump.  And my favorite.. Forever 21.  I will now write on places that I take O or go by myself.  Foods that comforted me and foods that boggled my mind in its preparation.  Books I’ve read.  People I’ve met.

Let’s start off with “Down Came the Rain” by Brooke Shields.  If anyone wants to know the hell I lived… well, she almost entirely hit the nail on the head.  But ofcourse mine lasted almost a year longer because I was not fortunate enough to identify my emotions.

Also, I’m reading a book call “Parenting From the Inside Out” which I finally got around too after having it in my house for two years.  My girlfriend from college recommended it to me when O was first born… ironically, Gweneth Paltrow mentioned it on an interview so it peaked my interest to pick it up and read it again.

My favorite item that I am immensely infatuated with at the present moment is L’Oreal’s Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara.  AWESOME.  Seriously better than any other mascara that I have ever used.  Sorry Dior Magic… you have been eternally replaced.  It is so good at elongated your lashes and giving volume at the same time.  The bristles are awesome too because it doesn’t clump at all.  No odor or smudging.  Highly highly recommend it.

Well, that’s it for now.  Have a great week everyone.  I’m off to my RCIA class in a bit.

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