I just started reading this book last night… I’m only on page 72 because I had a busy day.  But I feel like this lady is reading my mind.  I’ve had the same feelings off and on since giving birth.  I even questionably asked my OB/GYN at this mornings post-op visit if postpartum could last this long.  I think he wanted to laugh in my face but kindly referred me to a therapist.  Hehehe.  I think I’m chemically imbalanced… seriously.

I love it when the author says she wants to be like Rome… !!!  Read the book and you’ll see why.  I love it when she talks to herself and when she gave herself advice to embrace loneliness.  I feel like we are always running away from our problems or just brushing it under the rug like it’s just going to disappear or moreover we are going to pop a pill into our mouths and then miraculously be cured of whatever hang-ups we have… but then when the pill-popping stops and the rug flies away from harsh winds… we will be smacked ten-folds harder by reality again.

I felt happy today though.  Elated.  For a couple of hours I felt like I could fly.  I am taking a semester off of school.  Wow… and I don’t feel guilty.  I need some time to just unwind.  To make some mental notes of what makes me thrive and feel good… !  I’m finally back at the gym again working out, but taking baby steps.  I’m not jumping the gun thinking I’m going to be back in shape immediately or have the same endurance I used too.  I fail to realize that my stamina and endurance aren’t like they used to be even 5 years ago.  I’m so winded now when I run.  Haaaaa… aging.  I must embrace it gracefully.

I also got a new job.  God must have been listening or something because I felt stagnant at my old job.  Unappreciated and no room for growth… and more than that I didn’t feel a sense of pride in what I was doing.  I hate just going through the motions.  It was becoming monotonous and even the people I was supervising just didn’t seem to care about what they were doing.  The best part of this job is not that it has room for growth but that it’s freaking a mile and a half from my place.  Love it.  I could walk if I wanted too.  And icing on the cake… caddy corner to the building is a freaking Starbucks.  Love it more slore.  I’m starting on the 1st of February.

Also, if anyone wants to still sponsor me… please feel free.  The abundance of call-backs has been overwhelming…hahahahah.  NOT!!!  I usually wouldn’t but I feel like I might as well and kill two birds with one stone.  After all, all research can use extra funds… if your family member were ill with something wouldn’t you want something done to help?