Some people are asking me if I’ve turned into a doormat after my last post.  I guess to answer honestly… I’d have to say yes and no.  I know that all relationships come with ups and downs.   But do I think you should become invisible in order to appreciate all the exterior things life has to offer … heck no.  I’m not advocating for you to work out a relationship with an abuser, drug abuser, or gambling addict.  I’m advocating for both parties to be happy… but am completely realistic to the fact that that may not be possible.  Nor do I judge those who get divorced.  It’s hard to do… but I respect those people who know what they will and won’t put up with in their lives.

You have to maintain your happiness.  If something in your life is not making you happy… you change it.  If it’s a person, you ask them for what you need, you show them by example… realizing that ultimately it’s up to them to change for themselves in order to provide you what you need as well.  But if a person doesn’t feel they ever need to change or can’t see what the fuss is about… then you’ve got yourself a problem.  Because it can’t always be your fault and you can’t always be the instigator like some people like to think.  People get triggered by things.  So the even those you may be the flicker of light that starts the flame… someone helped pour gasoline on the floor.

Like my husband, a devout Catholic (well I guess not really devout since he thinks this way), says divorce is always an option when all else has failed.  If you feel in your soul that this person is unable to make you happy… take your bags and run.  Be clear headed and strong, because you can’t go back from that.  But you deserve a life too.

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