We had a great weekend with lots of ups and downs.  Let’s start with the downers because that way we can finish on a high note.

Unfortunately for our family, we had to let Tobi go to heaven.  He was very sick and was not going to make it.  My father inlaw took it especially hard because he loves dogs.  We all felt saddened by the incident… even my husband.  Why these things happen to innocent little creatures leaves me a bit confused.  I hope he is happy in heaven.

Saturday night, we decided to start sleep training our daughter.  I cried as she cried.  I cried even as I breastfed her wondering whether or not she forgave me.  Although her crying was killing my husband as well, he remained tough.  He kept telling me, “Baby, there are going to be harder things to deal with.  She’s going to get sick and hurt.  You have to be strong for her.”  And yes, logically, it makes sense… but this was something we were inflicting on her.  It was brutal to say the least.  I felt like I was at the dentist office waiting to get a root canal done… anxious, in pain, just grinning and bearing it while holding my breath just waiting for it to be done with.  I felt as if my skin was ripping off my bones.  When she woke up with a smile for me… I felt even worse.

It was my father inlaws birthday yesterday so we had a bbq in his honor.  It was fun although there was a melancholy feel to the gathering because of my father inlaw’s loss.  But it’s amazing what a little baby can do to even the most broken-hearted.  Cheers and laughter surrounded my little daughter’s every squeal and coo.

We’re very lucky to have a close knit family.  I must say, it definitely makes life so much easier to have inlaws who get along.  I am fortunate.  It takes work to build a family… and luckily for us, everyone does their due part to make each others lives easier and happier.

That’s it for now.  I have a piece of meat stuck in my throat or something so I feel like I have freaking indigestion.  I feel lightheaded because I’m not getting enough oxygen or something… ahahaha.

My next entry shall be about the troubles I faced with breastfeeding for you mommies to be.

Payce my sisters from another mister… and my brother’s from another mother!!!

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